Dear Abby

I've become Abby from "Dear Abby." I don't know when or how this happened but at some point I took on this role. It's funny because I really am very unfamiliar with all of these problems that I am presented. Yet, lately I've been asked to find solutions, fix relationships, talk people off ledges (figuratively speaking, though, not too far off), mend friendships, end friendships, advise on career paths and so on. I have no social skills or experiences that would make me any sort of authority whatsoever! I can barely hold my own! I don't know how to hold down a relationship. I am very sheltered on a lot of things that I'm asked about. I don't know or comprehend a lot of things. But I'm asked for my two cents nonetheless. I've made it sound like I'm upset that I'm asked for help on these things. I'm not at all. I just don't know what qualifications I have.

Let's see. Here's what I've come up w/ so far:

1) I'm a robot (beeep boop beeep). I'm very logical with regard to a lot of things and those people that ask for my assistance are usually more on the emotional end. Trust me, I've been emotional myself at times, but I don't deviate for my normal robotic thought processes for long. I always come back to being logical. So I can relate to the emotional craziness but bring it back home to the logical end.
2) Read I'm Like Sylar. I am pretty good at looking at the problem for my patient's point of view. I've read them and profiled them and know what their reactions would be. It helps in finding the best fit solution.
3) If I didn't help, I'd feel guilty. I think if you're put in a position to help and you don't, then you failed that person.
4) I'm not stubborn. People are so damn stubborn that they fail to see what they're at risk of losing if they just give in a little. "It's not always rainbows and butterflies, it's compromise that moves us along" - Maroon 5. I like that line a lot.
5) I think I like being the "go to" guy. :-P I like being called up to pinch hit in the bottom of the 9th with 2 outs. I'll walk up to the plate with a cocky-ass look and just when the pitcher's about to throw his pitch, I'll ask the umpire for time just the psych out the pitcher.. ok my example went off on a tangent. Focus people.

Hmm when I started this list, I didn't think I was qualified at all, solely because I was asked to help out in situations that I haven't dealt with. But after looking at my list, I think I really am pretty qualified. Yeah I'm full of myself. At least I admit it.

05/04/08: Update. I changed my mind. I don't want to be at the plate anymore.